Act 1, Scene 3: Baby Scoobie

DIALOG

School bell ringing

Playing school children

Rosewater: "Here we are at the bench, Honeyberry, you can sit down now."

Honeyberry: "I know, Mrs. Rosewater. I eat here every day, can I please go alone next time? Everyone's laughing at me."

Rosewater: "And what am I supposed to tell your parents when you fall and break a leg?"

Honeyberry: "I won't. I've got my cane!"

Rosewater: "It's for your own safety. Now be a good girl and stay here until I pick you up after the break, alright?"

Honeyberry (annoyed): "Yes Mrs. Rosewater."

Opens her lunchbox

Honeyberry munches on some cookies

Babyscoob noises

Honeyberry: "Hmm? What's that?"

Babyscoob noises

Honeyberry: "Hello? Are you trying to ... speak to me? Who are you? Where are you?"

Babyscoob noises

Honeyberry: "I can't see. But hang on ..."

Honeyberry sniffs around on all fours

Sound effect: Honeyberry speaks into a pipe

Honeyberry: "Hello? Are you in there?"

Babyscoob noises

Honeyberry: "Oh, you're stuck, I see! Let me see if I can reach you ... please don't bite me! I just want to help! Hnnngrrr ... hmmm ..."

Honeyberry reaches as deeply into the drain pipe

Honeyberry: "Theeeere we go. Oh. You're so small! And soft! *sniffsniffsniff* And you smell funny."

Happy Babyscoob noises

Honeyberry: "What happened to your mama?"

Sad Babyscoob noises

Honeyberry: "Awww, I'm sorry! Are you hungry? Do you want a cookie!"

Affirmative Babyscoob noises

Honeyberry: "Okay."

Honeyberry hands Babyscoob a cookie

Munchmunchmunch noises

Quickfire (from afar): "Hey, Blindworm!"

Honeyberry: "Oh no! Quick, hide in my hood!"

Quickfire: "So what's for lunch in the special care section?"

Honeyberry: "Get lost Quickfire."

Quickfire: "Oh! Butternut cookies! My favorite!"

Quickfire grabs Honeyberry's lunchbox, and starts eating her cookies

Honeyberry: "Hey! Give me my lunchbox back!"

Quickfire: "You're already such a fat lump, I'm just trying to help you! You're an ugly freak, just look at yourself! Oh ... ooops. I guess that explains it!"

Quickfire laughs at his own joke

swooshing sound as Quickfire gets hit over the head with Honeyberry's cane.

Quickfire: "Ouch! You little bitch ..."

Wood breaking

Honeyberry: "My cane!"

Quickfire: "That ... was a big mistake! (takes a deep breath as if preparing for a huge blow)"

Babyscoob: VERY ANGRY BABY SCOOB NOISES

Quickfire: "Yuck! What the hell is that thing on your shoulder! Some kind of nasty rat?"

Honeyberry: "It's not a rat!"

Quickfire: "It's disgusting! I'm gonna kill it!"

Honeyberry: "It's a Poison Fanged Goatkiller! The tiniest bite and you're gonna drop dead like a stone!"

Quickfire (laughs): "If it looks like a rat and it squeaks like a rat, then it's gonna die like a rat!"

Honeyberry: "Take your paws off my friend!"

Sounds of a violent cat fight

Honeyberry sinks her teeth into Quickfire's muzzle and does not let go

Quickfire: Aaaaah! Ahahhhhhhhh! Help! She's trying to kill me! Aaaaaaaaah!"

Quickfire starts crying

Mrs. Rosewater comes running

Rosewater: "Honeyberry! What in the mountain's name are you DOING! Let go of him!"

Honeyberry (mouth full, enraged): "He ... tried ... to ... kill ... my ... friend!"

Rosewater: "I said LET GO! *hrgn*"

Mrs. Rosewater slaps Honeyberry

Quickfire (crying): "I didn't do anything! She just snapped at me like that! She's a freak!"

Rosewater: "Is this what happens when I leave you alone for 5 minutes Honeyberry? What has gotten INTO you? Oh my god, Quickfire, you're bleeding all over the yard. Go see the school nurse, at once!"

Quickfire: "Yes Mrs. Rosewater!"

Honeyberry: "I was just sitting here. He came over, stole my cookies, broke my cane, then he tried to kill my friend!"

Rosewater: "Quickfire is a model pupil, I don't believe he'd do any of the things you've accused him of"

Honeyberry: "Yes he would because he's an asshole?"

Rosewater: "HONEYBERRY! No more naughty words! I'm going to have to take you to the counselor, your violence is really getting out of hand. And who's this imaginary friend you say Quickfire tried to kill?"

Honeyberry: "She's not imaginary. She's real! I saved her! And now she's my friend!"

Rosewater: "Where is ... she?"

Honeyberry: "Here."

Babyscoob noise

Rosewater: "OH MY GOD IT'S UGLY!"

Honeyberry (sobbing): "Why does everybody say that? She's still a baby! And she likes me!"

Rosewater: "Honeyberry, she's a wild animal! Go and put her back into the wild where she belongs."

Honeyberry: "She's not a rat, is she?"

Rosewater: "No, she's an opossum. And now put her down. We're going to have a stern talk with your parents. Your behavior is completely out of line."

Honeyberry: "Okay. There you go."

Babyscoob noises

Honeyberry (whispering): "Here, take another cookie. Wait here. I'm going to pick you up after class. Do you have a name?"

Babyscoob: "Scoobie!"

Rosewater: "Hurry up Honeyberry!"

Honeyberry (whispering): "Take care, Scoobie!"

Babyscoob: dee-dee! (In the sound of "bye bye").