Act 3, Scene 1: We Can't do it Alone

TECH PREROLL [EMOJI_TOILET_ROLL]

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LX-3100 STANDBY for GO:

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Puppeteer1: ON

DIALOG

STBY Stage left [1, off]: Olaf

STBY Stage right [7, off]: Zoe, Ryan

Arabella on stage [1-3, 2nd], Robin behind the bar [5, 2nd], Inspector in [6], Patron at the table.

AMB-3101 - Bar Ambience Light

Curtain - open

LX-3101 Lights on, red atmosphere, reddish white as ambience (emphasis at tech rehearsal), slight movements in moving heads; right side: really janky movement
LX-3102 key light (flat area light) on Ryan and Robin

Robin browses through a big notebook on the bar counter

Arabella clumsily dances on stage / scratch post

SND-3101 - Door Opens

Olaf enters from [1]

Olaf: "Hey, Robin! Good news! I killed the big spider in the men's room!"

Robin doesn't even look up

Robin: "Very nice, Olaf."

Olaf: "Unfortunately the toilet's now clogged with one of my shoes, and the plunger's stuck to the ceiling, and I was wondering if maybe you could ..."

Robin: "I'm sure it'll be fine up there for a few days."

Olaf: "Is everything okay with you?"

Robin: "I'm good. Our future? Not so much. The numbers aren't looking good at all."

Olaf: "Uh oh. "

Olaf sits next to Robin, setting his mop in a bucket on the bar while he speaks

Olaf notices Arabella dancing on stage / scratch post

Olaf: "By the way, who's she?"

Robin (annoyed): "What does it look like? The new dancer."

Olaf: "She's pretty hot."

Robin (quietly): "She's terrible! But she just got into town and hasn't had time to be scared off like all the other candidates. And as long as Zoe's on her honeymoon with the killer cop, Miss Piggy is all we got."

Arabella is very sincere and dedicated but looks like a sack of watermelons falling down an up-escalator

Olaf sees nothing but love on stage, and love is blind

Olaf: "Man, she's got curves like a race track ..."

Robin rolls her eyes. She looks critically at Arabella again, but shakes her head.

Robin: "Let's say ... she has yet to find her audience."

PRE-3101 - Patron: "Boooooo! You dance like a pig!"

Patron throws a bottle at Arabella

SND-3102 - Bottle Breaking

Olaf is distracted by the vision of Arabella trying so hard on stage / scratch post

Olaf: "HEY! IF YOU ATTACK MY FAVOURITE DANCER AGAIN, I'M GONNA KICK YO ASS, CAPISH?"

Robin: "I'm afraid it'll take a few more fans than just you to pay the rent this month."

Olaf: "Damn. I've still got so many cool ideas for protests! Like ... what if we glued our paws to the ground so they can't just sweep us off the road the next time?"

Robin: "Olaf, that's stupidest idea I've ever heard."

Olaf: "That's what you said when I fixed the beer tap with band aids and hair spray, and it's never worked better!"

have towel ready behind the bar counter

Robin walks over to the beer tap and pulls the lever

Robin: "You mean this one?"

SND-3103 - Wawooosh

An explosion of foam sprays everyone

Olaf: "NOT SO ROUGH, NOW YOU BROKE IT AGAIN!"

Robin coughs and spits

Olaf takes his mop (mop in a bucket) and cleans up on the playrail

Robin wipes her face with a towel

Inspector: "Excuse me, do you have a minute?"

Olaf: "AND WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?"

Robin: "Building Inspector. The city's found another way to harass us."

Inspector hands Robin a piece of paper

Robin: "Let me see ... wait what? Our house is violating the building code? What's that supposed to mean?"

Inspector: "The city just passed a new code last month. All buildings have to be re-checked. And yours doesn't pass any more."

Robin: "The same moment the real estate sharks started circling Cat City. What a coincidence!"

Inspector: "I don't make the rules. All I can tell you is that this house is no longer safe and needs to be vacated. Sorry m'am."

Olaf: "You've got 10 seconds until I'm going to vacate YOU!"

Inspector: "Do you think I'm enjoying this? We all gotta put food on the table somehow! Jeeeez ..."

Inspector scuttles out to [7]

Robin waits until the Inspector is outside

Robin drops forwards onto the bar counter, sobbing

Robin (sobbing): "I can't do this any more ... I'm so tired of it all ..."

SND-3104 - Door Opens

Zoe comes in from [7]

Ryan comes in from [7]

Robin stays face down

Olaf: "Oh, look, it's the copfucker!"

Robin (mumbling): "When it rains it purrs ..."

Zoe sits down at the bar in [6] in front of the second playrail

Zoe: "Alright, what does one have to do to get a beer in this place?"

Ryan sits down next to Zoe [5]

Robin (mumbling): "Go away."

Ryan drops a paw full of (invisible) coins on the bar counter

SND-3105 - Coins Clutter

Ryan: "Here, I'll pay for it. Looks like you need it."

Robin (looks back up): "Yeah, rub it in."

Zoe notices Arabella doing her best on the stage / scratch post.

Zoe: "Oh my god. What the hell is going on over there?"

Zoe nods towards the stage / scratch post

Olaf: "POETRY IN MOTION! Ever since that ardent love, that parched and faded away, she has been a lonely dove, dancing, dancing all the way!"

Olaf dramatically clutches the mop to his heart

Ryan: "And there I thought you were gay."

Zoe: "And vegan to boot."

Olaf: "My queerness moves in ways incomprehensible to copfuckers like you!"

Zoe: "Could you please, just ... stop calling me that?"

Ryan: "Yeah. For starters I'm not a cop any more, and secondly, we haven't, in fact, even fucked yet."

Ryan pauses, trying to remember

Ryan: "We haven't, have we?"

Zoe rolls her eyes

Zoe: "If we had, you'd definitely remember."

Zoe pats Ryan's head.

Zoe turns to Robin

Robin: "Can you please get to the point ..."

Zoe: "I will. But first I have to ask you question."

Robin: "What is it."

Zoe: "Are we still friends?"

Robin: "You tell me."

Olaf looks at Ryan.

Olaf: "Wait a minute! Cops can't be friends! Never ever!"

Zoe: "Olaf. Look at him."

Zoe stands up and touches Ryan to illustrate, lifting body parts where needed

Zoe: "Cute fuzzy ears, big wet nose booper, cuddly fur coat, perfect paw beans ... if he's not a friend, why is he so perfectly friend shaped?"

Ryan: "Woof."

Olaf: "I DON'T KNOW! IT MAKES NO SENSE!! AAAAARGH!"

Olaf pulls his hair out, and commences a violent fit of frustration mopping

Zoe: "So yeah. As much as I'm concerned you're still my friend. And so is Ryan. He's done plenty wrong, but I decided to forgive him. How about you, Robin? If you can't forgive him, can you at least forgive me?"

Robin: "Mmmmyeah, all right. Yeah. Still friends! Now whats up?"

Zoe: "We need to talk. About you. Me. My new puppy."

Ryan: "Woof."

Zoe: "We have a new plan to get everyone out of this misery, but we need your help."

Robin: "I still haven't decided if I want to turn this jerk in for the reward. But **you** have a plan."

Zoe: "I'm very sure he's not a killer cop. He tried to report some really despicable stuff going down in his unit. But Chief Cross had been in on it all along. And he wasn't amused. Puppy here decided to play the big bad wolf, and got back more than he bargained for. Mila was his love, not his victim. Cross did it."

Robin: "Nice story, but can you prove it?"

Ryan: "You don't have to rely on me. There's enough witnesses to fill a courtroom, waiting for a chance to testify. But Chief Cross is keeping them silent."

Robin: "Okay, but what are we supposed to do about that?"

Ryan: "I have something Chief Cross wants. And that's my ass."

Zoe (quietly): "Him and me both!"

Zoe can't stop looking at the amateurish pole dancer; she gets noticeably more and more restless during Ryan's monologue.

Ryan (continuing): "Cross' biggest weakness is that he thinks he's invincible. But the thing about me is deeply personal to him, and all I have to do is taunt him a little, and he'll abandon all caution to get back at me. And that's how we're going to lure him into a trap. He's going to make the biggest mistake of his life, and we're going make him do it in the open where everyone can see it ... Once Chief Cross falls, the floodgates will open, and if we're lucky the entire corrupted system will fall with him."

Zoe jumps up

Zoe: "Sorry guys, but I just can't watch this any more ..."

Zoe storms toward the stage / scratch post

Zoe: "Girl. HEY GIRL! What's your name?"

Arabella (nervous): "Arabella?"

Zoe: "Okay, Arabella, what the hell is this supposed to be?"

Arabella (nervous): "I'm the new dancer! Sorry, but I'm still a bit nervous ..."

Zoe: "That's okay, but if you want to earn them tips, you gotta do a bit more than just stomping around like a constipated elephant!"

Arabella: "Yeah, I'm sorry, I've tried every diet on Tik Tok to lose some weight, but it's really hard!"

Zoe: "No, that's not what I meant! You're beautiful as you are. But you got to learn to **work** with what you are, and if you dance like you hate yourself, that's gonna show! Put some pride in your strut, come on!"

Zoe climbs on stage / scratch post, guiding Arabella around

Zoe: "Here! Don't slouch like that, stretch your back ... yeah! Now puff out your chest ... yeah ... Now practice some traditional moves! Take your hand and grab the pole. Higher! A little higher! And now, walk around the pole like the proud little piece of bacon you are! YES! You go! Move that ass! Wohoo!"

Arabella walks around the pole, a little stiff, but definitely more desirable than before

Zoe: "See the difference a bit of attitude makes?"

Arabella: "Yeah ..."

Olaf applauds wildly!

Arabella goes over to Zoe, clearly more confident now

Zoe: "Very good. Now, my favorite move: THE FIREMAN! Put one hand up here ... the other one down here ... and now both legs to the pole ... yeah, almost ..."

Arabella clings to the pole for dear life

Zoe: "And now ... SPIN!"

SND-3106 - Huiiiii!

Zoe pushes Arabella, who makes a quarter spin, and then just flies off the pole, crashing onto the ground with a THUD

SND-3107 - THUD

Arabella: "Squeeeeek!"

Zoe: "Ooops."

Arabella (in pain): "I'm fine. I'll just lay here ... for a while."

Zoe: "Don't worry! You did great! You wouldn't believe the silly mistakes I made when I was new. I had to sniff a lot of catnip to get rid of the stage fright! Maybe there's something like ... pignip? Hognip? Truffles? I dunno, maybe google for it."

Arabella (in pain): "Thanks for your help!"

Zoe: "Anytime, honey!"

Zoe walks back to the bar

Zoe: "What a cutie. Now, where were we?"

Robin: "Pulling Chief Cross' pants down."

Zoe: "Oh yeah. But it will only work, if we all work together. If we do it right we can get Ryan's bullshit charge thrown out and give those bloody real estate scammers a mighty kick in the balls while we're at it."

Ryan: "So, you in?"

Robin: "Alright!"

Zoe: "Awesome! Then let's make Chief Cross REALLY mad."

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